


Designated Something or Another

by AngelCuttingOnions



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Is So Done, Bucky is designated adult, Drinking, Drunk Clint Barton, Drunk Tony Stark, M/M, Multi, no drunk sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 12:16:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19106923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelCuttingOnions/pseuds/AngelCuttingOnions
Summary: Tony and Clint do stupid things when they’re drunk. Bucky tags along when they go drinking to make sure they don’t do stupid things. It somehow ends in a (sober) threesome.





	Designated Something or Another

**Author's Note:**

> Y’all I don’t even know where the hell this came from I’m-

Bucky hated being the sober friend. Especially because it wasn’t even his choice, stupid super soldier formula. He always enjoyed the first hour or so of the night, when everyone was barely tipsy, but when Tony and Clint were wasted, he was forced to make good decisions. He didn’t care if they were dancing together, he really didn’t. Nor did he care when they danced with literally anyone else. But once they were past a certain point of intoxication, Bucky had to step in, specifically when someone tried to take advantage of their conditions. 

He felt like Clint could take care of himself, even when drunk, but he didn’t want to leave it at that. More than once he had pulled a wasted Tony or Clint (hell, he did it for anyone in that situation) away from a completely sober person. He’d let a little bit of Winter Soldier seep through his glares, usually causing the person to run, cry, or on one memorable occasion, piss themself. If the person was too persistent, they ended their night in the back of a cop car with more than one bruise forming. 

That night however, Tony and Clint seemed to have another plan. Instead of deciding it was a good idea to go home with sober strangers, they were plastered all over each other. Bucky rolled his eyes at the two men, and wondered when this became his life. 

“Why haven’t we done this before Katniss? Fuck.” 

“Noooope. Nope nope nope. You two can drunkenly make out however much you’d like, but I draw the line at public sex.” Bucky interrupted the two heroes who were grinding against each other in the dimly lit hallway leading to the bathroom. Clint whined as Bucky tugged him away from Tony. 

“Aww Bucky nooo. Why?!”

“You two can fuck as much as you’d like when you’re sober and have talked about it. Drunken choices usually end badly, especially for you two. Come on, we’re heading to the compound.” 

“You suck.” Clint’s words put a thoughtful expression on Tony’s face. 

“Do you think he sucks dick well Clint?” 

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. It was going to be a long car ride. 

***

Sitting in the back of a car with two horny drunk men was not fun. Convincing Clint to keep both his pants and his underwear on proved to be a difficult task. He at least managed one of the two, which left Clint in Winter Soldier boxers and the sleeveless shirt he wore when they left the compound. 

On the bright side, once he threw his pants out the window, he seemed to be content to just sit there. However Tony cried because it was littering, and proceeded to send one of his suits after it. Once they actually got to the compound, he led the now pantless archer and stumbling engineer through the main room. Apparently Sam found it hilarious. Tony tried following Clint to his bedroom, but Bucky caught him by the back of his shirt and led him to his own room. 

Once he’d checked on both Avengers, promising them they could fuck tomorrow if they still wanted to, (both of them asked if he wanted to join) he made sure they were both in a position where they wouldn’t choke on their own vomit, and went to his own room, asking Friday to alert him if anything happened, or if either of them tried to escape to the others room. 

*** 

It wasn’t until the next afternoon when Clint appeared in the common room, dropping onto the couch by Bucky, using the super soldier a pillow. “Thanks for keeping us from having drunk sex. Appreciate it.” 

Sam appeared out of nowhere with a glass of water the archer gratefully drank. Tony walked into the room stretching out his neck and shoulders. “Buckybear! Thanks for last night. Clint, I think drunk us had some great ideas, wanna go fuck? Bucky that’s open to you too.” 

Clint shrugged and removed himself from Bucky’s lap, and looked at the man questioningly. Bucky rolled his eyes and followed the two to Tony’s bedroom. Sam was left in the common room wondering what the fuck happened the previous night.


End file.
